Here I sit in Spokane having a wonderful start to my summer. I work about 28 hours a week watching anywhere from one to four kids. That is all. The rest of the time I get to do whatever I want. Sometimes I nap. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I cook or bake. Sometimes I watch a movie. Sometimes I just sit. It is a beautiful life, I must admit. However, something is missing. It is not that I am not at home (which is different for sure). It is not that I am away from family or Maple Valley or MVPC. It is one thing that has been constant in my summer for 16 years ... well, until this summer ... CAMP.
The last two weeks of July are always reserved. Whether I was there for one week as a camper or I was on staff for two weeks of I did one week of each, the last two weeks of July have always been reserved for West Coast Camp. I have missed family reunions, weddings, Creation, jobs, money - all sorts of things, I have missed them. Those two weeks were sacred - set aside to be at camp. Until now. Last summer while we were at camp, we were told that it was our last time. At that time, I didn't get it. I don't even remember all the reasons they gave for why. I just remember crying for what seemed like hours, hugging friends, sitting and just sobbing with people who have become family. These people have seen me since I was seven years old, growing up through some great times and some really crappy times. I've seen these people grow up, or get married, or have kids, or adopt kids. These are people who I have served alongside, when we were excited or exhausted and all of the emotions inbetween. Here I sit almost a year later and I still don't get it.
Tonight I sat and watched last summer's camp DVD. I watched every little thing that was on there - the rules video, the camp trailer, WOLBIeharmony, the BI Boy Band, both Junior and Teen Camp, and the short clip that was made to commemorate all the years that we have spent on Mt. Lassen at WOL West Coast Camp. I watch the kids playing, the joy on their faces; I hear the Word of God preached by powerful men of God that have been used in countless ways in my life and SOOOO many other lives; I watch the program guys, some of whom I have practically grown up with, being goofy, sharing the joy of Christ with some kids who needed it the most. And for some reason, now it is all over. I just don't get it. I am trying. I was hoping by this point, I would understand, but I don't. I also was hoping that this wouldn't seem so hard - and for the past months since camp, it honestly hasn't been too bad - but now here I am at the point when I am usually preparing and something is just missing.
God, I want to get it, but right now I just don't.
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